Insubordination
by new moonfull moon
Summary: It was the day that he had been waiting his whole life for, been planning since he made up his mind to become Fuhrer. A chance to finally capture a glace of the paradise called Eden. Too bad it simply wasn't meant to be.


Insubordination: A Side Story

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist but I did want to provied a slightly different idea on what the day would be like if the infamous 'Mini-Skirt Policy' was actually initiated.

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Just a little something to help me get through a writer's block.

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King President Fuhrer Roy Mustang had an extra spring in his step as he walked to work. He actually had to restrain himself from jumping up and kicking his heels together. After years of waiting and biding his time he had finally made it to the rank of Fuhrer. Then, not twenty-four hours ago, his 'Miniskirt Policy' had been approved and put into affect. He never actually thought that would ever get approved as an actual rule but loe and behold it had! Could this day possibly get any better?

His eyes followed one young secretary as she ran past him in her high heels and militarily issued miniskirt with an arm full of papers. Nope. It couldn't. He was in paradise and judging from the looks of his fellow males their thoughts were the same as his. Good thing Hawkeye couldn't read his mind. The fact that shooting at him could be counted as an attempted assassination wouldn't stop her from putting her infamous aim to use.

Speaking of Hawkeye...

Roy checked his watch. She should already be busily at work on the giant pile of paperwork, contrary to what he had hoped, being in charge of a country involved more signatures than simply being a dog in the military ever had. Still, a big grin was plastered to his face as he gave a fellow pleased male passing by a thumbs up, being buried alive in official governemnt documents until the day he died was but a small price to pay if he got to see a certain blond subordinate in a miniskirt.

And he sure as hell wasn't talking about Havoc.

Whistling a cheery little tune he leisurely made his way to his office, stopping more then once along the way to admire the view. It took him nearly twice as long as normal but he eventually found himself staring at the familiar wooden door that indicated that he had arrived at his destination. He paused for a moment, mentally preparing himself for a sight that was sure to be the equivalent of Eden. Taking a deep breath he savored the moment and opened the door.

His eyes immediatly shifted to the right where he had placed her desk when he had first took charge. His office was large and had no trouble fitting the both of them, besides if she was going to protect him she couldn't very well be down the hall. But enough of that. His grin grew when he saw - as he expected- Hawkeye already diligently at work. At the moment she was sitting so he couldn't actually see the miniskit but -he had to resist the urge to chuckle- he knew she would have to get up and give him his papers for the day and update him on the current affairs.

He had never looked so foreward to the task as he was today.

Though he probably should have been a little suspicious when she simply looked up at him and greeted him with her customary, "Good morning, Sir."

He really should have noticed that something wasn't quite right. It wasn't so much as the greeting that should have warned him, it was routine after all, but the fact that she was acting so... normal on a day that was anything but. If he had any sense of self preservation he would have picked up on that fact that his faithful bodyguard was not looking at him like he was an idiot, like she had the first time he had mentioned the policy to her. Nor was she reaching for her gun to shoot him back into line, like when she potty trained Hayate. But most importantly she wasn't glaring at him, like she did when she was getting ready to lecture.

These were all signs that something he wouldn't like would be just around the corner.

Unfortunately all his sense of preservation was currently drooling at the thought of her in a miniskirt and was rendered useless at this point. So, instead of being concerned like he should have he was absolutely ecstatic with the fact that he had actually lived long enough to see this joyous of day. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he say her stand up and gather the things she needed to start him on his day. "A beautiful, wondrous morning it is, Hawkeye."

She gave a small nod in agreement before straightening her back and making her way around the desk that was currently depriving him the moment of a life time. His smile growing as she moved. Just a little further! She was almost there! He could almost see the forbidden sight of the eagerly anticipated contour of her long... shapely... silkey smooth...

... military blue wool-fibered black boot wearing legs. The flame alchemist's jaw hung unashamed in shock as Hawkeye stepped out from behind her desk wearing her normal attire of long pants and solider issued boots. Completely ignoring his comatose state of slumped shoulders, wide eyes, and gaping mouth she shoved his daily allowance of paper work into his limp arms. Pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket she began reading him an updated list of activities.

"There's a banquet next week for General Norton who's retiring. You have to give a speech to some new recruits on Friday. Plus there's a conference being held with the leaders of Xing in two weeks so you need to prepare for that." The blond sniper turned the paper over as she took her seat and began getting ready to resume her previous work. "Hughes called to remind you that Elicia's birthday is coming up so better clear your schedule for her party and it's about time you found a wife." Picking up her pen she signed her name at the bottom of a document. "Also Havoc stopped by. He wanted to tell you that he loves the new policy so much that he's going to forgive you for all those dates you stole from him."

Too bad he hadn't registered a word of anything she said.

No his mind was preoccupied with far more important things than the representatives of the bordering countries or his other loyal workers. Pressing things that involved short skirts, blond snipers, and the horrendous invention of shapeless military uniform pants that denied him the surely magnificent view of his close college's legs. His next course of action gave any on duty soldiers that happened to be walking by his office at that moment the perfect reasoning to forever label that day 'The Day Mustang's Mind Flew The Coop.' Kind of wordy but it worked.

Suddenly Mustang's arms were devoid of any documents as then fluttered about the office as he threw his arms up in exclamation. "What's going on here?!"

"Sir?" The blond sniper paused in her work to look at her boss with a sincere expression of complete confusion to his actions. She knew he disliked doing his paper work but he had never reacted this violently to it before. "Is something wrong?"

Forgetting the fact that his mother had always told him that it was rude thing to do, he pointed a shaky accusing finger at the only woman in central head quarters that wasn't wearing the newly issued clothing. "Why aren't you wearing you're uniform?!"

Hawkeye glanced down only to frown in confusion. "With all due respect, sir, I am."

"Not that uniform!" Frantically he dug through his pocket and pulled out a piece of well used paper. Unfolding it as quickly as possible he slammed it down on her desk. His right hand pointing to the picture of a woman wearing a miniskirt that was printed beneath his clearly written memo. "This uniform! Look! I wrote a memo and everything! Why aren't you wearing this!"

She held the paper in her hand for a moment before crumpling it into a ball and tossing it the trashcan. "Because that is idiotic."

He stared at her, horrified for a moment before diving into the partially full trash can. Pulling it out he carefully smoothed it out and stood back up. Shoving the document in her face he tried to desperately to figure out just why she wasn't wearing his precious uniform. "But I made it a rule! See look! It's on official government paper! You have to wear it!" When she simply raised an eyebrow at him he decided trying to appeal to her loyal law abiding side. ""I could count this as an act of insubordination!"

"This is an act of stupidity." She paused for a moment before adding for good measure, "Sir."

"Argh!" His hands flew to his head to start tugging at his hair in complete despair. Rushing to the door he flung it open and grabbed the closest man in reach in uniform and promptly pulled him into his office. The startled solider barely managed to keep himself from falling over as the door slammed behind him.

He attempted to take in his surroundings. "What the-"

"Private!" The man's eyes widened drastically as the realization that he was in the Fuhrer's presence dawned on him. Scrambling into an upright position he quickly threw his shoulders back, brought his feet together, and saluted. Mustang just waved him off and pointed to his every loyal bodyguard, who by now had returned to working. "Place this woman under arrest!"

Giving a confused blink the man brought his saluting hand down and placed both behind his back. "On what grounds, sir?"

"The improper disposal of important government documents, failure to follow a superior's orders, insubordination, and failure to wear a miniskirt!" He ended with a flourish and a huff. His arms crossed over his chest and his eyes set in a glare. All of which went completely unnoticed by Hawkeye who continued on with her work as if nothing was happening.

Keeping a strictly professional appearance the soldier squared his shoulders. "I'm sorry but I can't do that, sir!"

"And why not?!" His exclamation came out louder than he originally expected but he couldn't help it. He was shocked at his subordinate's disregard for his policy, confused at the private's refusal, and frustrated at the fact that even though he had finally reached the top he still wasn't being taken seriously by anyone who worked for him.

The man's eyes shifted over to the still diligently working woman for a brief moment before returning to the head of the country. "She scares me, sir!"

"She scares you?!" Roy repeated with obvious strain in his tone. "Does she frighten you more than me? Me, who if I may remind you, am currently holding the title of King President Fuhrer and all the power that goes with that title!"

The solider straightened his posture. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Permission granted." Nodded the flame alchemist in sync with his previously spoken words.

With out exaggeration or mincing words in any way he gave a simple clear answer. "Hell yeah."

The new Fuhrer's mouth went slack as he fell to his knees in despair. His hands tangled themselves in his hair and actually pulling out a few strands. Not the most diplomatic way for a leader of a country to be acting. The kidnapped solider turned his focus to the calm woman that was still signing documents. He raised his right hand in salute. "Permission to leave, ma'am."

"Permission granted." Hawkeye looked up and gave him a nod.

Once the other man was gone she spared a glance at her superior, who by this time had fallen backwards staring at the boring white ceiling with a look of utter defeat. The sniper couldn't help but let out a tired sigh. She had risked life and limb a man who actually thought she would wear a miniskirt to work. "Sir?" She waited until he groaned to show that he had heard her. "You need to get started on those documents. They're due before you leave today."

The flame alchemist let out a pitiful sounding moan as he covered his eyes with one of his glove clad hands.

So much for seeing Eden.

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End file.
